Is Your Direct Manager Really in Control of Your Career?

Let’s just say the quiet part out loud:

Sometimes the person you report to — the one holding your 1:1s, giving you feedback, and assigning your work — isn’t actually the one in control of your growth, your title, or your compensation.

It’s frustrating.

It’s disempowering.

And it’s more common than anyone wants to admit.

I’ve Been There

I once sat in a conversation with a manager who initiated a raise discussion — they brought it up. I was cautiously optimistic.

What I got instead?

“I think you’re worth it, but my boss is currently assessing your value.”

Let that sink in.

My boss — the person I reported to, the person who knew my work best — had no authority to make the decision. They had to go advocate for me, about me, without me… to someone else. Someone who didn’t see the day-to-day. Someone managing a budget. Someone also setting my boss’s salary.

So yes, the person meant to champion my career growth was also, at times, in quiet competition with me for the same budget.

Conflict of interest? Yep.

The way a lot of companies actually work? Also yep.

And if you’re lucky, that decision maker is only three levels above you.

So What Does That Mean for You?

It means that understanding the dynamic is critical.

You can’t just hope your manager is advocating well.

You need to understand how decisions are made, who makes them, and what levers actually exist for you to pull.

Here’s what I want you to know:

Step 1: Know Who Holds the Power (and Who Doesn’t)

Ask your boss — directly and professionally:

• “Can you walk me through how title changes and compensation adjustments work here?”

• “Who signs off on raises or promotions?”

• “Is there a specific cycle or review window I should be aware of?”

• “If I wanted to advocate for myself directly, what would that look like?”

These aren’t confrontational questions — they’re smart ones.

And a good manager will respect the transparency.

Step 2: Make Your Work Undeniably Visible

Don’t let your success be whispered up the ladder — make it echo.

This doesn’t mean being loud for loud’s sake. It means being intentional:

• Share your wins publicly when appropriate

• Offer updates that tie your work to business outcomes

• Be visible in the rooms where decisions are being made

• Find projects that give you exposure across levels

If a decision maker hears your name often enough, it sticks.

You become real. Tangible. Defensible.

Step 3: Talk to the Decision Maker (If You Need To)

If you’ve already tried advocating through your manager, and it’s not getting you anywhere, ask for a seat at the table.

You can literally say:

“I’d like a meeting with the decision maker on this so that I can advocate for myself directly. I appreciate that you’ve been advocating for me, but the back and forth hasn’t led to a result — and I’d like the chance to hear the feedback and make the case in my own words.”

This isn’t insubordination. It’s self-advocacy.

It’s your career. Your compensation. Your title. You get to care deeply about those things.

Final Thought (But Only the Beginning of the Conversation)

Your direct manager might be supportive.

They might even be exceptional.

But they still might not be the one who gets to say “yes.”

Knowing that doesn’t mean you stop engaging with them — it means you stop assuming they control your future.

Start asking better questions.

Start building visibility beyond your immediate team.

Start treating your growth like a strategy, not a waiting game.

And if your manager really does want what’s best for you, they’ll help you make that strategy work.

Action Required:

Stop and consider:
Are you waiting on your manager to grow your career — or are you just hoping they’ll notice you want more?

Ask yourself:

• What parts of my development am I expecting my manager to drive?

• Do they actually have the authority to make those decisions — or just the responsibility to deliver the bad news?

• Am I building relationships with the actual decision-makers?

This week, take one move that puts your career back in your hands:

• Clarify who really controls promotions, raises, or opportunities.

• Schedule time with someone above or adjacent to your boss, just to learn.

• Document your wins like you’ll have to advocate for yourself — because you might.

Your manager can support you — but they’re not your only path.
Build one that doesn’t disappear if they leave the company.